Since the announcement of nougat on tap, Global Nougat and Three-Valve Faucet stock have both increased over 700%. Endorsements and AAA ratings by every single Wall Street investment firm has firmly entrenched Global Nougat as the world’s premiere blue chip stock, easily outpacing Google, Microsoft, GE, General Motors, and Toyota in earnings and growth.
“The constant threat of lethal anal sex, in which FuckZombie would need only three or four strokes with his enormous polyp-laden dinosaur penis in my rectum before my head blew off in a horrendous flood of putrid semen, blood, and brain matter, has absolutely nothing to do with the investor community’s faith in Global Nougat stock. Nothing at all. They have far-ranging business interests, an incredibly diverse product range, a politically active leader determined to implement nougat on tap, and are more centered on fucking than any company I am aware of. It is a guaranteed recipe for success,” stated Ian Austin of Leahson, Sherman Bros in a recent Forbes article.
