In a bold move that puts his credibility on the line, FuckZombie is now offering a Certificate of Authenticity. Global consumers of the FuckZombie brand will now be assured that they are getting certified authentic FuckZombie goods and services. The certificate itself, a poster-sized hand-crafted fourteen-point parchment featuring platinum and titanium metallic quadruple-security inks with eleven offsetting holograms and a raised seal will be printed exclusively at a $671 million plant currently under construction at an undisclosed location.
While some claim this was done to offset doubts that have arisen since the uncovering of a network of Nigerian counterfeiters who traded in millions of dollars worth of FuckZombie-related products, FuckZombie denied that claim. Appearing before the United Nations General Assembly, FuckZombie stressed that consumer confidence, not fear of counterfeiters, is the reason for this uncompromising undertaking.
“FuckZombie know that certifying authenticity and also having confidence for having authenticity certified and having consumers with for credibility and also knowing that products and services with FuckZombie want to have offsetting holograms with metallic security inks from undisclosed location with hand-crafted parchment and offsetting holograms and security ink with raised seal to make credible and have authenticity certified for consumers make FuckZombie happy”, said FuckZombie.
